02 May Lead Like A Lady
I’m not going to lie. The struggle is real… Like really real. I’m not solely talking about life struggles, but ministry struggles as well. There were days when I thought, “Geez! If I was a man, this would be so much easier!”
Here I was. A single lady, 4 feet 11inches tall, 24 years old and a non-musician, being launched into full-time ministry to lead a worship team full of married men. Let’s face the facts. Of course it would be easier to be a man! “What the heck do I have to offer a team of experienced men?” This was the question I asked myself over and over when I was offered the job as a worship director for Mid-Cities en Español. I battled with a lot of insecurity before I finally submitted and said yes. And to this day, there are still struggles.
But let me tell you, it is a God given honor to be a woman!
Women, there is no greater time to be a woman than now! There will always be struggles women face, just like men face theirs, but the opportunities that we have in this day and age are endless! We hold specific roles of greatness within our being. As women we are created to be helpers, nurturers, and bearers of life.
“And they (Mary and Mary Magdalene) left the tomb quickly with fear and great joy and ran to report it to His disciples. And behold, Jesus met them and greeted them. And they came up and took hold of His feet and worshiped Him.” -Matthew 28:8-9
Women were the first carriers of the gospel! Why would Jesus entrust the gospel, the good news waiting for all of mankind, to a woman? Because women bear life! The ability to bring forth life physically and spiritually flows through our DNA. Stand firm in your role as a woman. A woman is who you were created to be.
So how did I put my big girl pants on when I said yes to lead this team of mighty men?
F.A.I.T.H… a lot of faith.
Nobody says it better than NIKE. Just do it. Stop thinking so much and just do it.
2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
God has called us to walk out our purpose in boldness and without fear. Stop apologizing all the time and quit responding with “I DON’T KNOW.” It is as if we almost apologize for being a woman and nobody wants to follow a leader that doesn’t know. It’s not about what we know, but what we know He has called us to.
I was thrown into the deep waters of ministry and it was either sink or swim. I refused to drown. When I didn’t know what I was doing I had no choice but to be bold in my actions until I my knowledge of my role matched my confidence. My previous Worship Director always reiterated to me, “If you are going to mess up, mess up BIG!” Messing up for the fear of messing up quenches your confidence. Messing up because you took a risk raises the potential for growth. Mistakes will always be made. Healthy mistakes come from fearlessness. Do I have it all figured out? Not even close! But walking fearlessly with Jesus is the only way to walk on water.
“You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.” Philippians 2:5
That’s as real as it gets. Jesus knew that He was destined for the cross. His attitude determined His steps of obedience towards it.
“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” – Charles R. Swindle
There will be people who don’t agree with your role as a female leader. It’s sad to say that some won’t respect you because you are a woman. People on your worship team will show up late for practice week after week. They may not apologize. You will face challenges that seem to have no end. Will you react or respond? Reactions are fueled with frustration and anger. Responses are built with kindness and love. Kindness leads people to repentance and love covers a multitude of sin. Have a positive Christ-like attitude. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Always think the best of them and don’t see them for what they are, but for what they have the potential to be.
Take the initiative to learn something new. With leadership and growth come new challenges. If you don’t know how to do something, work hard and find a way!
Learn the musical lingo. You will have the ability to better communicate with your team. When you go the extra mile to learn someone’s language, even if it isn’t perfect, they will respect you for it. If you don’t know how to play an instrument find resources that will help you figure out what keys you sing the songs in. (The GarageBand App has a smart keyboard that gives you the ability to change keys and edit chords. I promise this will change your life!)
Even while we were with you, we gave you this command: “Those unwilling to work will not get to eat.” -2 Thessalonians 3:10
The only way to grow is to eat. They say, “A team is a reflection of its leadership”. If your team isn’t growing it’s because they aren’t eating. And if they aren’t eating it’s because you aren’t working.
“Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.” -Galatians 6:9-10
Don’t lose heart. Don’t allow the hard times to put a fire extinguisher to your passion. Be tenacious. Women are not easily pulled apart when we are determined.
When you are going against the grain with everyone and everything, remember grace. I tend to have more grace towards my friends than I do my family. As believers we sometimes tend to have more grace towards nonbelievers than we do believers. I asked myself why this was and came to the conclusion that I expect more out of my family than I do my friends. I feel like my family should “know better.” We think that believers should “know better.” And so we extend more grace to those who we believe don’t know better. The bible says, “let us do good to all people, especially to those who are of the household of the faith.” My dad once said, “Christians is the only army that wounds its own soldiers.” Dagger to the heart. Even when people don’t meet our expectations let us not be quick to cut off grace. Keep doing good. Keep treating them with love. Respond to every situation with grace because one day you will need grace yourself.
Be honest with yourself and others.
At the beginning of my journey in full-time ministry, I was deceived by the thought that a strong leader never asks for help. That is the furthest thing from the truth. Strong leaders know their weaknesses in every area. Because you are a leader you need to ask for help. Being honest takes courage and can hurt. But when we are honest with others and ourselves we are bringing forth truth, life, and the opportunity for correction.
Ladies we got this! Lead like a lady. Lead with F.A.I.T.H.
Be fearless. And even when you have things figured out, continue to lean on the Holy Spirit like you did when you didn’t have a clue. Respond to every situation with a positive attitude. Keep growing by taking the initiative to learn new things. Be tenacious and never give up! You won’t fall if you stay honest.